(This is a satirical and over exaggerated letter to anyone who isn’t a parent yet and therefore don’t understand the issues we parents faces just planning a simple non-kid get together with them.)
Dear friends who aren’t parents (yet or otherwise),
We love you. We really do. Your conversations with us keep us from falling into the pit of insanity. You are our link to the outside world.
The issue is, when we try to plan anything. You see, we can’t just drop everything and go out for a spontaneous girl’s night. The most spontaneous we get is if we happen to get to shower alone while our kids take an unexpected nap all at the same time. That’s really living life in the crazy lane right there. So please give us at least a couple of days notice before you try to plan anything.
Also on the opposite end of things, if we happen to have a free night out of nowhere, please get back to us with an answer as soon as possible. Do you know how long it takes to get ready? You take, what, maybe an hour or two? Yeah it can take all afternoon for us. First we have to shower the morning’s oatmeal and yogurt out of our tresses. Then we have to figure out if we have any clothes that aren’t stained…wait when was the last time we remembered to wash our clothes and not just the kid’s? Then after we have wiped a runny nose, make a snack, changed at least one really explosive diaper, read the same book twenty times, and found a blouse that is not too bad looking; we can finally make dinner. While stirring the food in the skillet, we might attempt to do our hair and makeup. Maybe. Or we may realize we need to go ahead and put all of our clothes in the washer. As we set up the kids with the food they will inevitably decide they don’t like, we will finally find a skirt or pair of pants to pair with our blouse. Time to get dressed! But wait! We just got food flung into our hair…again. Shower it is. Then come to find out our significant other gave the children access to markers. So remember that pretty blouse? Yeah it’s no longer so pretty. Maybe it’s better we just wear a sun dress. Less stress with trying to match two items of clothing even if the dress was from our pregnancy days.
And after redoing our hair and makeup, we can finally sneak out the door before our children realize they will have only one parent for their bedtime routine.
So basically…wait to make plans with us once the kids are out of the house.
See you in 18 years.
Signed,
All parents who try to have a small night out at some point.
Being Momma Kitty 